The Power of Life Events: Two Words That Changed My Life

F*ck it.

Those were the two words that ended up changing my life.

Do you ever feel stuck? Like you’re running on a hamster wheel, but you’re going nowhere? The word stagnant always resonated with me when I felt that way.

Sometimes you’re not even miserable. You’re just not quite… happy. That’s how I felt too.

My First Real F*ck It

I was unhappy and dissatisfied most of the time and knew I couldn’t go on as I had been.

I was struggling and grasping for anything at that point. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I pretty much exploded.

“F*ck it” was my new mantra. I ripped my life apart.

So I broke up with my partner, moved out from living with them, and quit my job. I thought that would fix it. It didn’t.

These things that I had built my life on started falling like dominos. Little did I know that these life events were setting the stage for something bigger.

I was in a better living situation and had a better job, but I was still miserable.

Putting My Life Back Together

For as long as I can remember, yoga was on my list of things I always wanted to try. I just never got around to it. Sure, I did a 10-20 minute Youtube video here or there; I even took a class at a rec center once, but I didn’t understand it. I wasn’t connected to it.

So at this new job, when one of my coworkers said I would make a great yoga teacher, I was taken back. It was out of the blue, and I had no idea where it came from. I don’t even do yoga myself, so how could I make a good teacher? But I wasn’t happy with where I was, and she told me the school she attended to get her certification.

Days later this idea would still pop up in my head, nagging at me, so I thought to myself, “f*ck it.” And signed up before I could talk myself out of it.

Being Called Out

Other things were happening at this time too. I picked up a random book at a secondhand store. It was Beyond perception: A Guide to Meditation by Miles Sherts, which helped to change everything.

All of my thought patterns, the way that I think, it’s like this book was inside my mind. Over and over again it called me out and made me consciously aware of how my mind works.

I’ve read it about three times now, and it’s incredible how much it still resonates with me and helps.

Secret Desire

I had a secret desire at that time. I was a little ashamed, embarrassed, and had never told anyone because of the stigma that surrounded it.

I wanted to pole dance. Not on stage, I could barely be in front of people and talk. But for myself and for the workout. F*ck it, right? I found a local studio. I was nervous and anxious. I couldn’t even do gym class in high school. I had so much anxiety about it I convinced my guidance counselor to let me do home gym.

Young Jess practicing pole tricks!

It was an all-female studio, and what I imagined was your stereotypical high school mean girl. But it wasn’t that. It was the exact opposite! I had NEVER found a place so inclusive and supportive of everyone before. Every single person there was lifting everyone else up. I felt like I stepped foot into a whole other world. It was a pleasant surprise, and I loved it.

They offered many other classes besides pole dancing, but that was my main focus over the years I went there. Of course, we got in a fantastic workout (the only time in my life I’ve almost had abs), but they taught me so much more. They helped me with my stage fright. Helped me feel sexy (it’s all about confidence!). And gave me a safe space to grow, explore, and have fun.

In Over My Head

Yoga teacher training finally started. I walked into the studio for the first time, the only time I had ever been to a yoga studio at that point, and laid down my $15 Meijer yoga mat (spoiler! That mat did not last long).

We started off the first day with what I now know as a basic practice, but at the time, I was so lost. The teacher was calling out poses like “Warrier 1,” and I had no idea what that pose was. I knew I was in way over my head. There was so much more involved than I had imagined. I only thought it was a physical practice where people somehow magically feel better after. I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful to be wrong.

I learned a lot of things in that training about yoga and life, a post for another day. Still, I think one of the most profound things I learned for myself was being comfortable saying, “I don’t know.”

It all Comes Together

I never set out to be a yoga teacher. Even after the training, I never thought I’d actually teach or want to.

This path led me to where I am now. These life events all fell together. To constantly seek knowledge, joy, and growth. I think I would still be fumbling through life if I hadn’t found these things.

I’m not saying my life is perfect, far from it. But I’ve found my path. It’s almost never straight. It may have ups and downs and turns, but it’s my path. I am still constantly making mistakes, learning, and working towards being better than I was yesterday. I’m not sure yet where this path is leading me, but I’m enjoying the walk, and I’m excited to see where it leads.

Everyone’s path is different. This was mine. Sometimes you just have to say “f*ck it” and do what scares you in order to grow. It’s not always the situation that needs changing, sometimes it’s ourselves that need to change.

I wish you much success and failures (to learn from) in your future endeavors. I hope you approach everything with an open heart and an open mind because you never know where it will lead you.

Young Jess when I received my RYT200 certificate!

All content and information on this website are for informational and educational purposes only. The information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a medical professional or healthcare provider in the area of your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any health, medical, or other related lifestyle, changes, or decisions.

Affiliate Disclosure

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *